Clickbait Sonnet

You’ll never believe what these stars look like now.

Doctor exposes hidden weight loss trick.

He built that with Legos? You won’t believe how!

How well do you remember old song lyrics?

Rest in peace to these beloved child stars.

Dermatologists hate her! She’s fifty

& looks twenty five. Headless body in topless bar.

The real reason we don’t hear from Joe Pesci.

Five things you need to know about Wi-Fi—

#3 will blow your mind. This dog’s genius.

You won’t believe what made Oprah cry.

This simple trick transformed our sex life for us.

The net may feel like a giant rabbit hole.

And poetry’s dead, says a recent poll.

—Susan Elmslie